Tag Archives: suicide

Testimony Tuesday

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imagesKUAW6SMY

” ‘Return home and tell how much God has done for you.’ So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.” Luke 8:39

My nephew took his own life. I cry almost every day because of that. I love him so much and I miss him even though he lived far away from me. I had a comfort that I knew that he was alive and well. To know now that I can no longer tease him, or hear his voice call me Auntie Kelly sarcastically hurts deeply. But I am not mourning like someone who has no hope. I praise God every day through my grief. I believe that God’s way is higher than my way and God’s thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I do not question why this happen and more importantly why did my sister have to go through this. I believe in God wholeheartedly and I’ve realized that my faith has grown more intense since my nephew’s death.

When I read today’s scripture in my devotional I knew that I was supposed to write about this. We might not know why we have to face such adversity and pain but we have to remember that our adversity gives us an opportunity to testify about God’s faithfulness. When we tell people about the pain we have experienced (or currently experiencing) and tell about God’s grace and mercy, we are bringing people closer to God. That’s the most important thing that we can do in our life. Introducing someone to God’s salvation or helping someone to grow closer to God is an awesome feeling. And we are being obedient in telling “how much God has done for you.” So I encourage you to testify. Someone needs to hear your story. Someone needs to know how you got to be where you are in your spiritual walk.

Be encouraged. Tell your story. Testify about God’s grace.

Love you with the love of Christ!

Kelly

Testimony Tuesday

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Red Sea

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side — let Israel now say— if it had not been the Lord who was on our side when people rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; then over us would have gone the raging waters. Blessed be the Lord, who has not given us as prey to their teeth! We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124 1:8

Temptation and testing seems to be the way of my life lately. My emotions have been challenged when I am not in a place where I can just roll with them. I thought I had them under control, then one comment on Facebook, one text message, one phone call causes me to be in tears. I finally realized that my grief is not gone, it is simply at another level now. I am finally moving onto the more of an acceptance level. But make no mistake my grief is there.

I read comments from some of my friends yesterday about how they felt about me. The comments sent me into a crying fit because I did not understand how someone could feel that way about me when I did not feel that way about myself. I did not understand how someone could feel certain things about me when at many points in my life I was not the nicest person. So the things they said touched me in a way that I am sure they did not expect. Plus on top of that my feelings about everything is on my shirt sleeve right now. But as I cried uncontrollably I stopped and thought, if it had not been for the Lord on my side where would I be? If I had not decided that Jesus is the way, the death of my nephew and the loss of my job would have sent me into something worse then a crying fit. But because I believe in Jesus Christ I am not swallowed up by my grief and anger. Do not get me wrong I am silently angry about everything but it is controlled because I have given it up to God. I trust that He is working everything out for my good.

I understand more and more that temptations and testing will happen the more that you are closer to your blessing. I have been tempted to cuss people out, seek revenge because of things someone has said or done to me and I have wanted to just do a time out from the world. But everytime I go to do any of that, I remember that the Lord fights all my battles and protects me. There is nothing that comes to me that God will not bring me out of.

Please remember things may look tough right now but you are more than a conquer. You are victorious over all that worries or concerns you. God made you. God made you perfect. Stay calm and trust God for everything. Stand strong.

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Trials & Tribulations Thursday

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Perserverance

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Today I did not want to get out of bed. I was about to go down that road of why should I, it does not matter. Then my clock radio went off. As you may have read yesterday, I was having issues with my radio. Yesterday it would not do anything but play static. It interrupted my morning. Today it was clear and loud. It played as though yesterday did not exist. I had not moved the radio nor had I adjusted the antennae. It played like yesterday did not happen. What was more interesting was what the DJ was saying. He said, “there are no problems just a process”. That stunned me for a second because I thought about all my “problems” I am/have gone through. I believe that everything happens for a reason that will be disclosed at a later time if we are open to really knowing. But I had never thought about exchanging my “problems” to my “process”. So I hit the snooze. 10 minutes later the radio went off again. Clear and loud. This time it played the exact same song as yesterday. The song sang to me, “This is your season for grace and mercy. This is your season to reap what you have sown”.

I have come to the conclusion that things that make us uncomfortable and challenge our faith will happen. It is how we handle the discomfort. Will we cry uncontrollably? Will we become a monster to everyone around us? Will we become detached from the world? Will we start doing self-destructive things? Whatever we choose to do in a time of trials and tribulations is up to us. God gave us free will. But in our free will we have to think, do any of those self-destructive ways help us through the trials? Do they change what has happen to us or around us? The answer is no. It still happened. Yesterday is gone. Yesterday cannot be changed or altered. Just like my clock radio, today is a new day that is clear and you can make it as you wish.

Perhaps you have to make some of adjustments of your life because of your trials and tribulations, but do so with thanksgiving. God did not create you for failure. He created you for greatness. It is only up to you as to how long you want to operate in defeat or sadness. It is up to you of how long you want to take to discover your destiny. But know you will discover it. You can take the quick way or the long way. It is all up to you and your attitude. Will you allow today to be clear? Or will you still be disturbed by the interruption of yesterday? You decide.

God be with you. Grace and Mercy.

Love you,

Kelly

Thought Provoking Thursday

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Storm

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58

Yesterday I was totally caught off guard. The organization that I work for told me that they are letting everyone in my department go. I can reapply for my job and perhaps I will be rehired. If not, my last day is in about 1 month. And to add insult to injury, they said please do business as normal until then. Business as usual.

But it is not business as usual when your world has turned upside down. It is not business as usual when your heart has been broken. It is not business as usual when you feel so beat up from life that you can not get out the bed. It is not business as usual when you just do not have a clue of what you are suppose to do next. What do you do? If you are a believer, you stand.

Let nothing move you. Remain steadfast in praising, petitioning and expressing gratitude to our Lord and Savior. He is a ever-present help in a world that is topsy-turvy. What we experience God already knew it was going to happen. Which means he already knows how victorious we will be on the other side of our trials. We just need to remain faithful. Never lose hope because for after every storm there is sunshine. It may seem so tough at times but bad times do not last.

For me, I’ve decided to give myself to the Lord’s work. I’m going to try something new. I’m going to listen to that small voice and allow that voice to guide me. If the Lord says my work will not be in vain, then I believe it. Today I step out on faith fully even though my heart is broken because I loss my nephew to suicide. I step out on faith fully even though I am a divorced. I step out on faith fully even though my son has sickle cell anemia. I step out on faith fully even though they said I’ve loss my job. I step out on faith fully even though………

I encourage you today to step out on faith. Do what is in your heart today. Let go of whatever is holding you back. Release whatever is troubling you. Let God take over. I promise you your labor will not be in vain.

Love you with love of Christ,

Kelly