Tag Archives: job loss

Take Courage

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Jesus on water

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. Matthew 14:27-31

I know it has been a while. I apologize for the lag. I have been trying desperately to get my thoughts together so they will be worthwhile to read about. After reading my daily devotional this morning, it hit me that it was time for me to write again.

I decided to talk about this particular scripture because it describes exactly how I was feeling. I pray frequently to God for guidance and assistance, he gives it to me and then I doubt it was his assistance. I begin to sink even after I hear Jesus say, “come” or occasionally “go”. Have you ever felt that? It gave me chills this morning when I read this because I have been struggling with a couple of things. I believe in those struggles that Jesus has said to me, “Chill out. Sit down. Be patient.” But unfortunately I do not know how. I am a doer. I think I’m chilling out but in actuality I am only appearing to be chilling out. I might be sitting still but my mind is going 100 miles per hour. I’m thinking about where am I going to find a job. Is this relationship going to work out? How am I going to pay these bills without an income? Is my son getting everything he needs from me? Then let’s not even talk about incorporating social media into that overloaded thinking process. Just thinking about it now makes me want to scream!

I believe that God made me sit down (and sit down for real) recently. I was hospitalized for 6 days. I have never in my life been in the hospital that long. The longest I’ve ever been in the hospital, I came home with a baby. So this was a rude awakening because it was so unexpected. I had been walking around with a blood clot in my leg for approximately 3 weeks and pneumonia for almost 2 weeks. No signs. No warnings. But now that I think about it, were there warnings? I try to keep myself so busy that any aches and pains are blown off. I knew my leg hurt but I nursed it myself. I knew I could barely breathe but I self-medicated (take that however you want). So finally when I could not take any more my body began shutting down. It was the scariest thing to ever experience not to mention to experience it alone. All I could imagine was my son coming home from school finding my dead body. That is what got me to move.

While in the hospital I would not allow anyone to bring me my laptop or tablet. I had my phone but I could only read so much of Facebook and Instagram. The television programs were a joke. So I had nothing but time to talk to God and do something different, listen. The interesting thing is the Holy Spirit has always spoken to me. I’ve just always blown it off as my own thoughts playing tricks on me. So the difference this time was everything that was said to me came to pass. I told the Holy Spirit I wasn’t ready to die but if it was my time, please make sure my son would be provided for and comforted. I was told to stop it but I did need to get my life in ORDER. I told the Holy Spirit I didn’t think I did my insurance stuff correctly and every time they took me for a test or gave me medicine I was racking up a bill I had no possible way of paying. I was told to stop it, I am your PROVIDER. I’m here and my bills are paid in full. Major rude awakening.

I have come to realize that the Holy Spirit has said to me, “come” many times and my soul was willing but my flesh was not. I would then sink and begin screaming out, “HELP ME!” Every time God reaches his hand out to me and catches me. My lesson from a couple of particular pitfalls I put myself in? Listen. I need to trust God with all my heart and not depend on my own understanding. God operates in such a way that we can not even begin to understand. His ways are so much higher than our ways. We just need to trust and believe. That voice in your head or that “gut” feeling or that intuition that you are feeling needs to be really paid attention to. It could be the Holy Spirit directing your path to greatness. Don’t sink.

Love you!

Kelly G.

Testimony Tuesday

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Red Sea

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side — let Israel now say— if it had not been the Lord who was on our side when people rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; then over us would have gone the raging waters. Blessed be the Lord, who has not given us as prey to their teeth! We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124 1:8

Temptation and testing seems to be the way of my life lately. My emotions have been challenged when I am not in a place where I can just roll with them. I thought I had them under control, then one comment on Facebook, one text message, one phone call causes me to be in tears. I finally realized that my grief is not gone, it is simply at another level now. I am finally moving onto the more of an acceptance level. But make no mistake my grief is there.

I read comments from some of my friends yesterday about how they felt about me. The comments sent me into a crying fit because I did not understand how someone could feel that way about me when I did not feel that way about myself. I did not understand how someone could feel certain things about me when at many points in my life I was not the nicest person. So the things they said touched me in a way that I am sure they did not expect. Plus on top of that my feelings about everything is on my shirt sleeve right now. But as I cried uncontrollably I stopped and thought, if it had not been for the Lord on my side where would I be? If I had not decided that Jesus is the way, the death of my nephew and the loss of my job would have sent me into something worse then a crying fit. But because I believe in Jesus Christ I am not swallowed up by my grief and anger. Do not get me wrong I am silently angry about everything but it is controlled because I have given it up to God. I trust that He is working everything out for my good.

I understand more and more that temptations and testing will happen the more that you are closer to your blessing. I have been tempted to cuss people out, seek revenge because of things someone has said or done to me and I have wanted to just do a time out from the world. But everytime I go to do any of that, I remember that the Lord fights all my battles and protects me. There is nothing that comes to me that God will not bring me out of.

Please remember things may look tough right now but you are more than a conquer. You are victorious over all that worries or concerns you. God made you. God made you perfect. Stay calm and trust God for everything. Stand strong.

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Throwback Thursday

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imagesGKKI0OND

But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak. Isaiah 40:31

I remember sitting in church with my grandmother Garrett and the choir was singing “I Will Trust in The Lord”. I clearly remember the part where my grandmother would sing a smidgen louder, “I’m going to stay on the battlefield until I die.” I thought that was a bit much. I did not understand as a child what that meant to stay on the battlefield until I die. As a child, if things got too tough I would run from the battlefield! No way was I going to stay and fight. I valued my life too much. But now as an adult, I get it. And boy do I get it!!

I do not believe that anyone will get the true meaning of that song until you have really experienced some things. I have been in church singing:

Trust in the Lord
I’ll trust in the Lord
I will trust in the Lord
Until I die

I’m gonna stay on the battlefield
I’m gonna stay on the battlefield
I’m gonna stay on the battlefield
Until I die

I’m gonna treat everybody right
I’m gonna treat everybody right
I’m gonna treat everybody right
Until I die

Not truly understanding what it meant to stay on “the battlefield”. The battlefield has been defined for me within the last year, the last month, the last day. The battlefield is your mind, your spirit, your body, your relationships, and whatever else causes us to put our trust and confidence in the Lord. It may seem like things are happening to us and around us but we have to remain faithful that the power and protection of God is present. Whatever negative experience we have had IS the battlefield. We just need to know what weapon to bring to the battle. That negative experience was put there to take our life, our mind or the use of our body. But remember no weapon formed against us will prosper as long as we use our weapon of faith and hope. As soon as we lose hope we go running away just like I thought I would when I was a little girl sitting next to my grandmother. Then the battle is over.

Today remain faithful throughout whatever you are going through. Do not lose hope. There is no time for that. The battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s. Release your worries and concerns to the Lord. Keep this in your head all day today and tomorrow, “I’m going to stay on the battlefield. Until I die.” Be blessed my brother and my sister. The Lord is with you today and will be with you always.

Love you with the love of Christ!

Kelly

Trials & Tribulations Thursday

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Perserverance

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Today I did not want to get out of bed. I was about to go down that road of why should I, it does not matter. Then my clock radio went off. As you may have read yesterday, I was having issues with my radio. Yesterday it would not do anything but play static. It interrupted my morning. Today it was clear and loud. It played as though yesterday did not exist. I had not moved the radio nor had I adjusted the antennae. It played like yesterday did not happen. What was more interesting was what the DJ was saying. He said, “there are no problems just a process”. That stunned me for a second because I thought about all my “problems” I am/have gone through. I believe that everything happens for a reason that will be disclosed at a later time if we are open to really knowing. But I had never thought about exchanging my “problems” to my “process”. So I hit the snooze. 10 minutes later the radio went off again. Clear and loud. This time it played the exact same song as yesterday. The song sang to me, “This is your season for grace and mercy. This is your season to reap what you have sown”.

I have come to the conclusion that things that make us uncomfortable and challenge our faith will happen. It is how we handle the discomfort. Will we cry uncontrollably? Will we become a monster to everyone around us? Will we become detached from the world? Will we start doing self-destructive things? Whatever we choose to do in a time of trials and tribulations is up to us. God gave us free will. But in our free will we have to think, do any of those self-destructive ways help us through the trials? Do they change what has happen to us or around us? The answer is no. It still happened. Yesterday is gone. Yesterday cannot be changed or altered. Just like my clock radio, today is a new day that is clear and you can make it as you wish.

Perhaps you have to make some of adjustments of your life because of your trials and tribulations, but do so with thanksgiving. God did not create you for failure. He created you for greatness. It is only up to you as to how long you want to operate in defeat or sadness. It is up to you of how long you want to take to discover your destiny. But know you will discover it. You can take the quick way or the long way. It is all up to you and your attitude. Will you allow today to be clear? Or will you still be disturbed by the interruption of yesterday? You decide.

God be with you. Grace and Mercy.

Love you,

Kelly

Miracle-Receiving Monday

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 Praising

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

There is a song that (I believe) says, “when I look back over my life and I think things over; I have a testimony.”  I’m at a point that I am excited about the testimony that I am going to have once I come out on the other side of everything I’ve experienced within a year. My testimony will be about perseverance in the face of major adversity. My testimony will be about exponential growth. My testimony will be about a peace that surpasses all understanding. My testimony will be about an increase in income and a decrease in debt. My testimony will be about the happiness that I found within. I believe in my testimony coming because I am very confident that the work that God has started in me will be perfected up until the day I close my eyes to wake up on the other side. I know that he is not done with me yet.

I have so many cliches that are floating around in my head but this is the best one that I have for you, “you wouldn’t have a testimony without a test.” If you are like me, you are thinking how can I get over this and use this for good. (You fill in what “this” is.) How can I smile when I just lost my job and I have no idea how I am going to make ends meet? How can I smile when I am a 45 year old divorce parent of a teenager? How can I smile when my beautiful nephew ended his own life? I will tell you how, through the strength of Jesus Christ who strengthens you. That is the only way how. I will be honest with you, no one can comfort me right now. No one has the right words to say to me and if they say the wrong thing, that’s trouble. So who do I turn to? God. He is an ever-present help in a time of trouble. He is always the same.

So whatever you may be going through right now, start performing your testimony. Speak it into existence. Imagine the people that you are going to tell about it. Think about how you are going to change someone’s outlook on life because you spoke possibilities into their life. Just because you can not see the wonderful outcome of your trials right now, know that it is coming. You will come out of this storm better than when you went into it. And you will be the reason someone will be able to survive their storm.

Stay faithful and expect great things to happen to YOU! Praise HIM through your storm.

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Thought Provoking Thursday

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Storm

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58

Yesterday I was totally caught off guard. The organization that I work for told me that they are letting everyone in my department go. I can reapply for my job and perhaps I will be rehired. If not, my last day is in about 1 month. And to add insult to injury, they said please do business as normal until then. Business as usual.

But it is not business as usual when your world has turned upside down. It is not business as usual when your heart has been broken. It is not business as usual when you feel so beat up from life that you can not get out the bed. It is not business as usual when you just do not have a clue of what you are suppose to do next. What do you do? If you are a believer, you stand.

Let nothing move you. Remain steadfast in praising, petitioning and expressing gratitude to our Lord and Savior. He is a ever-present help in a world that is topsy-turvy. What we experience God already knew it was going to happen. Which means he already knows how victorious we will be on the other side of our trials. We just need to remain faithful. Never lose hope because for after every storm there is sunshine. It may seem so tough at times but bad times do not last.

For me, I’ve decided to give myself to the Lord’s work. I’m going to try something new. I’m going to listen to that small voice and allow that voice to guide me. If the Lord says my work will not be in vain, then I believe it. Today I step out on faith fully even though my heart is broken because I loss my nephew to suicide. I step out on faith fully even though I am a divorced. I step out on faith fully even though my son has sickle cell anemia. I step out on faith fully even though they said I’ve loss my job. I step out on faith fully even though………

I encourage you today to step out on faith. Do what is in your heart today. Let go of whatever is holding you back. Release whatever is troubling you. Let God take over. I promise you your labor will not be in vain.

Love you with love of Christ,

Kelly