Category Archives: Death

Change

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“From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done.” Isaiah 43:13

I had a dream the other night about my nephew. It was like I stepped back in time. It was the night before he committed suicide. We were sitting facing each other in his apartment. He was smiling. He appeared to be genuinely happy. I knew what he was about to do the next day, so my happiness was strained for him. But I smiled with him. Then as we sat, I was going to tell him do not kill yourself. I was about to tell him all the reasons why he shouldn’t. As I was about to say it, I heard a voice telling me not to say anything. So I did not. Matthew’s smile grew wider and he had a twinkle in his eyes. I cried in my dream because he looked so happy. I cried when I woke up because I knew he was the Father.
There will be things that happens to us that we will never understand. We will strain our minds searching for the answer to why. Why me Lord? Why did this happen? Maybe if I only loved a little harder. Maybe if I tried a little more. And the questions go on. But as the passage says, no one can undo what God has already planned. We might not like it but we must trust God’s plan.
Today trust your journey. Trust the path that our Father has put you on. No eye has seen what he is about to do in your life and no ear has heard. Stand strong.

Be abundantly blessed.

I love you with the love of Christ!

Kelly

Testimony Tuesday

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Red Sea

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side — let Israel now say— if it had not been the Lord who was on our side when people rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; then over us would have gone the raging waters. Blessed be the Lord, who has not given us as prey to their teeth! We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124 1:8

Temptation and testing seems to be the way of my life lately. My emotions have been challenged when I am not in a place where I can just roll with them. I thought I had them under control, then one comment on Facebook, one text message, one phone call causes me to be in tears. I finally realized that my grief is not gone, it is simply at another level now. I am finally moving onto the more of an acceptance level. But make no mistake my grief is there.

I read comments from some of my friends yesterday about how they felt about me. The comments sent me into a crying fit because I did not understand how someone could feel that way about me when I did not feel that way about myself. I did not understand how someone could feel certain things about me when at many points in my life I was not the nicest person. So the things they said touched me in a way that I am sure they did not expect. Plus on top of that my feelings about everything is on my shirt sleeve right now. But as I cried uncontrollably I stopped and thought, if it had not been for the Lord on my side where would I be? If I had not decided that Jesus is the way, the death of my nephew and the loss of my job would have sent me into something worse then a crying fit. But because I believe in Jesus Christ I am not swallowed up by my grief and anger. Do not get me wrong I am silently angry about everything but it is controlled because I have given it up to God. I trust that He is working everything out for my good.

I understand more and more that temptations and testing will happen the more that you are closer to your blessing. I have been tempted to cuss people out, seek revenge because of things someone has said or done to me and I have wanted to just do a time out from the world. But everytime I go to do any of that, I remember that the Lord fights all my battles and protects me. There is nothing that comes to me that God will not bring me out of.

Please remember things may look tough right now but you are more than a conquer. You are victorious over all that worries or concerns you. God made you. God made you perfect. Stay calm and trust God for everything. Stand strong.

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Trials & Tribulations Thursday

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Perserverance

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Today I did not want to get out of bed. I was about to go down that road of why should I, it does not matter. Then my clock radio went off. As you may have read yesterday, I was having issues with my radio. Yesterday it would not do anything but play static. It interrupted my morning. Today it was clear and loud. It played as though yesterday did not exist. I had not moved the radio nor had I adjusted the antennae. It played like yesterday did not happen. What was more interesting was what the DJ was saying. He said, “there are no problems just a process”. That stunned me for a second because I thought about all my “problems” I am/have gone through. I believe that everything happens for a reason that will be disclosed at a later time if we are open to really knowing. But I had never thought about exchanging my “problems” to my “process”. So I hit the snooze. 10 minutes later the radio went off again. Clear and loud. This time it played the exact same song as yesterday. The song sang to me, “This is your season for grace and mercy. This is your season to reap what you have sown”.

I have come to the conclusion that things that make us uncomfortable and challenge our faith will happen. It is how we handle the discomfort. Will we cry uncontrollably? Will we become a monster to everyone around us? Will we become detached from the world? Will we start doing self-destructive things? Whatever we choose to do in a time of trials and tribulations is up to us. God gave us free will. But in our free will we have to think, do any of those self-destructive ways help us through the trials? Do they change what has happen to us or around us? The answer is no. It still happened. Yesterday is gone. Yesterday cannot be changed or altered. Just like my clock radio, today is a new day that is clear and you can make it as you wish.

Perhaps you have to make some of adjustments of your life because of your trials and tribulations, but do so with thanksgiving. God did not create you for failure. He created you for greatness. It is only up to you as to how long you want to operate in defeat or sadness. It is up to you of how long you want to take to discover your destiny. But know you will discover it. You can take the quick way or the long way. It is all up to you and your attitude. Will you allow today to be clear? Or will you still be disturbed by the interruption of yesterday? You decide.

God be with you. Grace and Mercy.

Love you,

Kelly

Wisdom Wednesday

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Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:5-6

This morning my alarm only had static playing. For the last year, I usually wake up to gospel music. No matter where I moved the radio I got nothing but static. I moved the wires; nothing but static. But when I put my hand on top of the radio it played clearly. When I stopped getting frustrated by the interruption of my morning routine and just rested my hand on top of the radio, it played. It played, “this is my season for grace and favor. This is my season to reap what I have sown.”

As I sat here, with my hand on the radio the irritation of the interruption went away. I trusted that as long as I kept my hand exactly where it was my music would come out clearly. Just keep my hand where it was. Don’t try to move the radio. Don’t try to twist the wires a certain way. Don’t try to adjust the radio station. Just keep my hand where it was and relax.

I thought about what was happening. Sometimes we have interruptions in our lives. Things happen that we did not plan on. Things happen that totally confuses us. We become unglued. We become shaken. But if we remember that God is our rock and our salvation, we will not be shaken. We must stay focused on God’s promises. Not our situations or our circumstances. God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. He is our fortress. We can relax and rest in his presence.

Keep your focus on God. Keep your hand on top of the radio so your music comes out clear.

Be gracious today in everything you do. Be unmoved by circumstances. Be abundantly blessed my friend.

Love ya,

Kelly

Miracle-Receiving Monday

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 Praising

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

There is a song that (I believe) says, “when I look back over my life and I think things over; I have a testimony.”  I’m at a point that I am excited about the testimony that I am going to have once I come out on the other side of everything I’ve experienced within a year. My testimony will be about perseverance in the face of major adversity. My testimony will be about exponential growth. My testimony will be about a peace that surpasses all understanding. My testimony will be about an increase in income and a decrease in debt. My testimony will be about the happiness that I found within. I believe in my testimony coming because I am very confident that the work that God has started in me will be perfected up until the day I close my eyes to wake up on the other side. I know that he is not done with me yet.

I have so many cliches that are floating around in my head but this is the best one that I have for you, “you wouldn’t have a testimony without a test.” If you are like me, you are thinking how can I get over this and use this for good. (You fill in what “this” is.) How can I smile when I just lost my job and I have no idea how I am going to make ends meet? How can I smile when I am a 45 year old divorce parent of a teenager? How can I smile when my beautiful nephew ended his own life? I will tell you how, through the strength of Jesus Christ who strengthens you. That is the only way how. I will be honest with you, no one can comfort me right now. No one has the right words to say to me and if they say the wrong thing, that’s trouble. So who do I turn to? God. He is an ever-present help in a time of trouble. He is always the same.

So whatever you may be going through right now, start performing your testimony. Speak it into existence. Imagine the people that you are going to tell about it. Think about how you are going to change someone’s outlook on life because you spoke possibilities into their life. Just because you can not see the wonderful outcome of your trials right now, know that it is coming. You will come out of this storm better than when you went into it. And you will be the reason someone will be able to survive their storm.

Stay faithful and expect great things to happen to YOU! Praise HIM through your storm.

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Fantastic Friday

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Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Psalms 37:4-7

From my reading it states that to take delight in someone, you have to know that person. So in order for us to take delight in the Lord we need to get to know him. How do you get to know someone? Well, there are numerous ways to get to know someone now. But the most effective way is talking. When you talk to someone you get to know their desires, hopes and dreams. You get to know the soul of another person. God wants you to do the same to him. He wants you to bear all you hopes and your burdens to him. Let him become that trusted advisor.

It’s interesting that with everything that has happened in my life over the last 90 days, I’ve found myself more and more by myself. I don’t feel like talking on the phone or being out with people right now. I don’t want anyone to ask that dreaded question, “how are you”. Because then I would have to answer honestly……..”I’m not ok. I’m functioning.” So I’ve been communicating more and more with the Lord. I’ve been telling him the desires of my heart. I’ve been trusting him with everything that is happening and with everything that is going to happen. I know that he knows the plans that he has for me and those plans are to prosper me in every area that has been affected. For everything that has been taken from me it will return tenfold. So that means that I will shine like the noonday sun soon. But in the meantime, I need to be still. Accept being by myself and wait patiently on the Lord to act.

We all face tough times. Things we have no comprehension of will happen to us. The key to surviving is giving up. Give up worrying, wondering and trying to fix our problems. Take delight in the Lord. Trust that he has our best interest at heart. Where man has forsaken you, the Lord will not. He loves you like no one else can or ever will. Rest on his promises and take heart that he is moving on your behalf. Matter of fact, it’s already done. Believe that!

Keep the faith my friend. The Lord loves you and so do I!

Kelly

Thought Provoking Thursday

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Storm

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58

Yesterday I was totally caught off guard. The organization that I work for told me that they are letting everyone in my department go. I can reapply for my job and perhaps I will be rehired. If not, my last day is in about 1 month. And to add insult to injury, they said please do business as normal until then. Business as usual.

But it is not business as usual when your world has turned upside down. It is not business as usual when your heart has been broken. It is not business as usual when you feel so beat up from life that you can not get out the bed. It is not business as usual when you just do not have a clue of what you are suppose to do next. What do you do? If you are a believer, you stand.

Let nothing move you. Remain steadfast in praising, petitioning and expressing gratitude to our Lord and Savior. He is a ever-present help in a world that is topsy-turvy. What we experience God already knew it was going to happen. Which means he already knows how victorious we will be on the other side of our trials. We just need to remain faithful. Never lose hope because for after every storm there is sunshine. It may seem so tough at times but bad times do not last.

For me, I’ve decided to give myself to the Lord’s work. I’m going to try something new. I’m going to listen to that small voice and allow that voice to guide me. If the Lord says my work will not be in vain, then I believe it. Today I step out on faith fully even though my heart is broken because I loss my nephew to suicide. I step out on faith fully even though I am a divorced. I step out on faith fully even though my son has sickle cell anemia. I step out on faith fully even though they said I’ve loss my job. I step out on faith fully even though………

I encourage you today to step out on faith. Do what is in your heart today. Let go of whatever is holding you back. Release whatever is troubling you. Let God take over. I promise you your labor will not be in vain.

Love you with love of Christ,

Kelly