Category Archives: Christianity

Woman of Excellence

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As we read Becoming a Woman of Excellence by Cynthia Heald, I hope to fully understand and exhibit what it means to truly be a woman of excellence. When I think of excellence, I used to think  of women who have achieve much financially, in their careers and socially. I thought of women that could handle a career, a husband and children and look flawless while doing it. (Perhaps I watched too much television) I never thought about a woman of excellence being someone that has achieved much spiritually until recently.

I’m reading and listening to stories about women that have gone through some things in life. Things that I can sometimes relate to and some things that I feel there is no way that I could recover from, let alone discuss with other women. But the one thing that I have discovered is that there are a slew of women that fall into the category of excellence. These women are not CEO’s, they have not achieve phenomenal financial success (or any) and they have not met, dated and married Mr. Right. These are women who have the courage to get up every day and exist. Even if their existence isn’t what they thought life would bring them, they do it any way.

I’m realizing that my story, my trials, my trauma, my ridiculous thoughts can possibly help someone. I’m finding that we all have similarities. Those similarities can be through our hopes and our dreams or through our perceived failures and faults. Whatever they are, by sharing them we can help release each other from the bondage of self-inflicted isolation or loneliness or even our prideful ways.

I had lunch with a young lady the other day. Everyone told me that she was “crazy”. I hate that word when describing someone but nonetheless that is what I had heard repeatedly. However I know that God is working on me. He is showing me that everything that I have held near and dear means absolutely nothing if I do not have a relationship with him first. So in my walk with God and in faith, I am looking at people in a different light. Perhaps it out of love instead of preconceived thoughts. Who knows?!

Anyway, I met with this lady. She was being timed (yes, that’s what I do). I was completely shocked from our conversation. Our paths were extremely similar. The only difference was she was an overcomer. She had overcome her issues, weariness, lack of faith, confusion, and was walking on the other side. I was not and am not. She reminded me of myself after being completely stripped of everything and having to function as a new person. And in that new way of functioning you don’t react the same way you used to. You don’t think the same way you used to. You walk and talk in a new way and you could be viewed as crazy.

So now when I think of Becoming a Woman of Excellence, I think of a woman full of courage to take on every thing life has to throw at her with grace while extending mercy to others. Achieving things is easy. Achieving spiritual maturity is a difficult journey. As I said today, one minute you are on top of the world, the next moment the world is on top of you. Spiritual maturity is what helps you walk through that valley no matter how hard it is. It is that comforting feeling knowing that God’s rod and staff is there to protect you and to give you rest when you need it.

I was awarded the Woman of Excellence award last year. I laugh at it now because of how I define excellence. I know I’m not there. Yet.

Take Courage

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But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. Matthew 14:27-31

I know it has been a while. I apologize for the lag. I have been trying desperately to get my thoughts together so they will be worthwhile to read about. After reading my daily devotional this morning, it hit me that it was time for me to write again.

I decided to talk about this particular scripture because it describes exactly how I was feeling. I pray frequently to God for guidance and assistance, he gives it to me and then I doubt it was his assistance. I begin to sink even after I hear Jesus say, “come” or occasionally “go”. Have you ever felt that? It gave me chills this morning when I read this because I have been struggling with a couple of things. I believe in those struggles that Jesus has said to me, “Chill out. Sit down. Be patient.” But unfortunately I do not know how. I am a doer. I think I’m chilling out but in actuality I am only appearing to be chilling out. I might be sitting still but my mind is going 100 miles per hour. I’m thinking about where am I going to find a job. Is this relationship going to work out? How am I going to pay these bills without an income? Is my son getting everything he needs from me? Then let’s not even talk about incorporating social media into that overloaded thinking process. Just thinking about it now makes me want to scream!

I believe that God made me sit down (and sit down for real) recently. I was hospitalized for 6 days. I have never in my life been in the hospital that long. The longest I’ve ever been in the hospital, I came home with a baby. So this was a rude awakening because it was so unexpected. I had been walking around with a blood clot in my leg for approximately 3 weeks and pneumonia for almost 2 weeks. No signs. No warnings. But now that I think about it, were there warnings? I try to keep myself so busy that any aches and pains are blown off. I knew my leg hurt but I nursed it myself. I knew I could barely breathe but I self-medicated (take that however you want). So finally when I could not take any more my body began shutting down. It was the scariest thing to ever experience not to mention to experience it alone. All I could imagine was my son coming home from school finding my dead body. That is what got me to move.

While in the hospital I would not allow anyone to bring me my laptop or tablet. I had my phone but I could only read so much of Facebook and Instagram. The television programs were a joke. So I had nothing but time to talk to God and do something different, listen. The interesting thing is the Holy Spirit has always spoken to me. I’ve just always blown it off as my own thoughts playing tricks on me. So the difference this time was everything that was said to me came to pass. I told the Holy Spirit I wasn’t ready to die but if it was my time, please make sure my son would be provided for and comforted. I was told to stop it but I did need to get my life in ORDER. I told the Holy Spirit I didn’t think I did my insurance stuff correctly and every time they took me for a test or gave me medicine I was racking up a bill I had no possible way of paying. I was told to stop it, I am your PROVIDER. I’m here and my bills are paid in full. Major rude awakening.

I have come to realize that the Holy Spirit has said to me, “come” many times and my soul was willing but my flesh was not. I would then sink and begin screaming out, “HELP ME!” Every time God reaches his hand out to me and catches me. My lesson from a couple of particular pitfalls I put myself in? Listen. I need to trust God with all my heart and not depend on my own understanding. God operates in such a way that we can not even begin to understand. His ways are so much higher than our ways. We just need to trust and believe. That voice in your head or that “gut” feeling or that intuition that you are feeling needs to be really paid attention to. It could be the Holy Spirit directing your path to greatness. Don’t sink.

Love you!

Kelly G.

Welcome 2015

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In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:1

Happy New Year! 2015 is the year of change.

I was invited to a friend’s church last night for New Year’s eve. The Pastor spoke about an Exodus experience. I thought it was different to talk about an exodus when we are entering a new year. But when he explained the definition of exodus, it made more sense. He defined exodus as moving from one place to another. He also said it is moving out and going from.

Exodus in the bible refers to the Israelite’s leaving Egypt. The Pastor talked about this exodus from Egypt to go to the promise land. The promise land is a land that is flowing with milk and honey, Exodus 3:7-12. The Pastor said that we all needed to go through an exodus experience. I thought, he had less than an hour to bring this thought to an end before the new year. And I wanted him to make it good and relevant to this New Year’s eve’s Watch Service. (I have difficulty focusing if I can’t grasp the concept.)

The Pastor explained 6 ways to have an Exodus Experience. Here are the ways to have an Exodus Experience:

1. God knows what you are going through. What you are going through or what you have gone through is no surprise to God. He knew what you were going to experience. When you’re praying you don’t have to do a recap because God already knew the disappointment that you would have, the hurt that you would feel and the loss that you would experience. You just have to acknowledge those experience and asked God to give you strength to get through the “bad” times.

2. Declare I am coming out or I am walking out. (This should’ve been done before the end of 2014.) This is when you declare not to be a slave to old habits or addictions. Once you stop being a slave you need to quit having slave mentalities. Some of the slave mentalities that I confirmed that I was giving up was procrastination, bitterness, reliving the past, and unforgiveness.

3. You can only have an exodus experience when you realize you had enough of Egypt land. You have to make a decision that you are tired of the way the things are. You can stay in Egypt land where you are abused, misused and mistreated or you can make the decision that it is time to walk away. When you’re ready to be treated the way that you want to be treated, you’ll make the decision to walk out of Egypt land.

4. Knowing you’re not in the right place….yet. You might not know where you’re suppose to be but you know you’re not where you suppose to be. The right place can be compared to the seasons in our lives. You might be going through a rough season but know that all seasons come to an end. Sooner or later the season will run out. Be patient.

5. It’s not about you being let out. It’s about you breaking out. This is when you act on being done with whatever is holding you back. This is after you did your planning. This is when you put your plan to action. Consider this your breakthrough!

6. It’s not just about coming out but it’s also about coming in. Know when you leave something you will step into something new. The Israelite’s came out of Egypt to go into the promise land. Your conscious decision to come out of whatever was holding you back in 2014 will bring you into your promise land in 2015. Believe that!

I want to have an exodus experience. I feel like that I have experienced a partial exodus experience but I am ready to move from Egypt land to the promise land. I just need to figure out what I am willing to leave in 2014. I have identified quite a few thus far. Many people won’t like my decisions but again, I’m ready to move to my promise land.

It’s time for you to move from where you are. It’s time for you to move into your promise land. But know that in order for you to move to your promise land, you have to let go of some things. Let go of what was holding you back in 2014. This is your opportunity to go through your exodus experience. 2015 holds a great amount of opportunities for you. You just have to make the decision to seize them. This is your year…….if you want it.

Happy New Year my friends!

Kelly

Goodbye 2014

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But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God. John 1:12-13

I’ve been reborn. I now believe it. I didn’t believe it before but now I know it’s true. What I used to think were issues that I prayed for strength for cannot even compare to the things I’m going through now. Yet I find myself calmer now. Even though these trials are rough, my brain doesn’t immediately go to dread and of no hope.
This year has been a testimony of faith. What I truly thought was being used for my mental breakdown has been used really for my good.
Yes, I’m divorced (again). But I’m free of miscommunication and pain. I’ve learned some valuable lessons about myself. Lessons on what it means to be a woman, a wife, and a mother. I see where I messed up. My relationship reflected how I felt about myself. Unsure, unreliable, flaky, and untrustworthy. I’ve learned me. And I love me.
Yes, I’m unemployed. It’s been almost 2 months that I haven’t had a job. I disliked my job. It was boring and it was not fulfilling me. I stayed because the money trapped me. I spent money frivolously. I didn’t budget. I just made sure my bills were paid. Well guess what I have to do now? Budget and watch my pennies.

Yes, my beloved nephew committed suicide. I finally realize it was to stop his pain. It doesn’t mean he gave up. It means he wanted something better. He taught me to love my son and trust that God has him covered. I’m just his guide through this life. So truthfully when he died the old Kelly died too. His death has taught me to be unafraid and live my life for God, no one else. God is the only one that I’m looking forward to saying, “well done”.

I look forward to 2015. I will consider it the year of my rebirth. New love. New career. New commitment to life. I’m open to what’s to come and I know it will be worth 2014.

Kelly

Total Trust

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Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they? Isaiah 2:22

Your breath can stop at any moment. You could attempt to take a deep breath and be unable to catch your breath. It could be environmental issues, it could be medical issues, it could be self inflicted issues but no matter what the issue is you fail to catch your breath. The passage says that humans are as frail as breath. That means that you relying on people could be short lived. People can be unreliable, selfish and shortsighted. As easy as it is for you to lose your breath, it’s just as easy for a person to betray your trust.

When I go into any relationship, I usually tell a person that I will trust them until they make me take my trust away. I am setting them and the relationship up for failure. The only person that I should trust in any relationship is God. He is completely reliable. He has yet to fail me or forsake me. Instead of putting my trust in people and our relationships, I need to learn how to trust God’s plan for the relationship. Some people are put in our life for a season. When the season is over, know the purpose he or she had in your life was to assist you along your spiritual journey. When their time is up and it’s time for them to leave, don’t fight it. He or she served their purpose. Cherish and keep the memories but let them go.

We tend to try to make a square peg go into a round slot. It doesn’t work. No matter how much you try, it won’t work. No matter how much you plead, it won’t work. No matter how much you try to manipulate it, it won’t work. It’s just like relationships, if it isn’t meant to be, it won’t work. Stop putting all your trust in that person and then getting upset when they let you down. Remember God is the only one that is completely reliable. We can rely on his unfailing love and trust in his plans that he has for us.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. Trust in the Lord not people.

Be incredibly blessed!

Kelly

Change

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“From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done.” Isaiah 43:13

I had a dream the other night about my nephew. It was like I stepped back in time. It was the night before he committed suicide. We were sitting facing each other in his apartment. He was smiling. He appeared to be genuinely happy. I knew what he was about to do the next day, so my happiness was strained for him. But I smiled with him. Then as we sat, I was going to tell him do not kill yourself. I was about to tell him all the reasons why he shouldn’t. As I was about to say it, I heard a voice telling me not to say anything. So I did not. Matthew’s smile grew wider and he had a twinkle in his eyes. I cried in my dream because he looked so happy. I cried when I woke up because I knew he was the Father.
There will be things that happens to us that we will never understand. We will strain our minds searching for the answer to why. Why me Lord? Why did this happen? Maybe if I only loved a little harder. Maybe if I tried a little more. And the questions go on. But as the passage says, no one can undo what God has already planned. We might not like it but we must trust God’s plan.
Today trust your journey. Trust the path that our Father has put you on. No eye has seen what he is about to do in your life and no ear has heard. Stand strong.

Be abundantly blessed.

I love you with the love of Christ!

Kelly

Being Burden

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Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light. Matthew 11:28

A yoke is used on an ox to move a heavy piece of equipment. The equipment and the yoke was too heavy for a human to use or to have a donkey to pull it. Both the yoke and equipment needed a strong animal to be able to pull it to get the job done. I’m sure it tired the ox out but that’s what they were there for, to carry the heavy load. There are many of us carrying burdens that weigh us down and tire us out like a yoke on a ox. Those burdens come in the form of abusive relationships that we don’t know how to get out of or the use of alcohol or drugs to self-medicate for the pain we’re experiencing or guilt of things we should not have done or said. But what I love about this passage is it says, “take my yoke upon you….. the burden I give you is light.” That means remove that yoke and give it to God.

You’re probably saying, “that’s easier said then done.” But have you ever tried it? Have you ever just stopped worrying or stopped the guilty thoughts long enough to ask for God’s help. Every time something that is worrisome enters your mind you should image yourself removing your yoke and handing it to God. Visualize being freed from the bondage of worry, guilt, depression, addictive behaviors and/or any sin that has you convicted. God’s has rest for your weary mind and soul. Find solace in that. Don’t carry that burden any longer. Trust God with all your heart, mind and soul. Give it to God and rest.

Be at peace my friend.

Love you always!

Kelly

Be Still

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He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

My devotional this morning had the above scripture included with it. As I was reading it, I was thinking I should really go back to bed because I’m tired. But then I had to stop and think what was I really tired from. I had not done anything too significant that would cause me to be worn out. Then I realized that I am mentally drained.

I tell people that I am fully trusting in the Lord, which I am, but sometimes my brain wanders to the unknown. When I’m saying that I am not worrying about not having a job or how my bills will be paid, that little gnawing feeling creeps up over me. I have to constantly speak a affirmation over myself to bring myself back to a place of peace and trusting God totally. So this morning when I read the scripture, I understood it differently.

God says, “Be still, and know that I am God”. For me it means that a job is not what supplies all your needs (though it helps) but it’s God who does. Be still and know He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the beginning and the end. He is the one that create us and we know that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. So that means that no weapon that is formed against us can prosper! Sometimes those weapons come in disguise as thoughts. We have to hold captive those thoughts that are not in line with God’s word. I know it’s tough when things look a certain way but that’s when we definitely need to understand that we walk by faith not by sight.

Today, my friend, I challenge you to being still. What I mean by that is when you feel those anxious thoughts rising up in you, get still. Stop what you’re doing and say affirming words over yourself. What I’ve been saying is, “God is the supplier of all my needs. I am not in want.” I encourage you to try it. Grab those thoughts and make them obedient to God’s word. You can do it because the bible says you are more than a conqueror!

Be abundantly blessed today!

Love you with the love of Christ,

Kelly

Patience

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“Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. Ruth 1:20

Naomi changed her name because of the bitterness and pain she felt. She lost her husband and her 2 sons. She felt that God was punishing her because of the grief she was experiencing. It wasn’t that she was turning away from God because of what she was going through, it was just that she didn’t understand what she was going through. Nor did she know what her future held for her. Her faith and trust in God was wavering.
I can relate as I know some of you can too. We face some very difficult situations. Things that throw us off our square completely. We might become so distraught in our anguish that we too might want to change our name to represent the pain we are going through or to represent the fear we have of the unknown. But we have to remember our connection with the one that will deliver us from our fears, our pain and our confusion. God is a ever present resource to lean on.
God knows what we’re going through. And just like he knows what we’re going through, he also knows how we’re going to get through it. It’s about trusting and believing. I know it’s easier said than done but what other choice do we have. Worrying, crying or being upset about our situation does not change what we’re experiencing. It just magnifies the situation and makes it worse.
Today when you’re mind goes to worrying or replaying things that upset you or plays tricks about situations you don’t even know if it happened or not, change the thought. Yes, as simple as that. Change the thought. When you feel that feeling welling up inside you say, “God is my strength. God is my refuge. My situation is being resolved by the Almighty!” Try it. I’ve been doing it and it feels like my load has been lightened.
Know that whatever it is you’re going through that God loves you so much. He will never take you through anything that he hasn’t already planned to turn into something good just for you.

I love you with the love of God!

Kelly

Testimony Tuesday

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” ‘Return home and tell how much God has done for you.’ So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.” Luke 8:39

My nephew took his own life. I cry almost every day because of that. I love him so much and I miss him even though he lived far away from me. I had a comfort that I knew that he was alive and well. To know now that I can no longer tease him, or hear his voice call me Auntie Kelly sarcastically hurts deeply. But I am not mourning like someone who has no hope. I praise God every day through my grief. I believe that God’s way is higher than my way and God’s thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I do not question why this happen and more importantly why did my sister have to go through this. I believe in God wholeheartedly and I’ve realized that my faith has grown more intense since my nephew’s death.

When I read today’s scripture in my devotional I knew that I was supposed to write about this. We might not know why we have to face such adversity and pain but we have to remember that our adversity gives us an opportunity to testify about God’s faithfulness. When we tell people about the pain we have experienced (or currently experiencing) and tell about God’s grace and mercy, we are bringing people closer to God. That’s the most important thing that we can do in our life. Introducing someone to God’s salvation or helping someone to grow closer to God is an awesome feeling. And we are being obedient in telling “how much God has done for you.” So I encourage you to testify. Someone needs to hear your story. Someone needs to know how you got to be where you are in your spiritual walk.

Be encouraged. Tell your story. Testify about God’s grace.

Love you with the love of Christ!

Kelly